디사이플 - 제자입니까 (Disciple) 독후감 > 제자학교

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Not sure how to write this clearly but I will do my best! I wanted to write about every chapter but it might be too long ???? so I handpicked 4!! 

The first part of Disciple is titled "New Wine", and the contents detail how one should be after the complete spiritual transformation of accepting Jesus as Lord. In this part, two chapters stood out to me: chapter 2 and chapter 7.

Through chapter 2 "The Gospel of the Kingdom", the author, Juan, mentions how Jesus recruited his disciples. He appeared before them and simply told them to come, seemingly without any consideration for their circumstances. One of the potential followers (Luke 9:57-62) wasn't even given the chance to bury his father. The current worldly perspective would denounce Jesus, saying how he couldn't wait just a bit or have a little bit more care for his followers, but Juan points out how wrong this is. Emphasizing that this is for the Kingdom, he asserts that Jesus is the most important, and he should be the one to decide the timing. This passage is something that we've all read and had sermons with pastors highlighting the importance and the sacrifices one needs to make to follow Jesus.

For me (and for most of us, I could be wrong!), we've never had a strong calling from Jesus where he would explicitly tell us to follow him via this; instead, we let the Holy Spirit and our judgement decide whether this is the right timing and the course of action. What I've received from reading this chapter is that when opportunity presents itself to follow Jesus, there should be little to no hesitation. A practical example is serving in the church. If through prayer I feel a strong calling towards a ministry and a chance occurs, I should take the leap (of faith!) instead of making excuses of what not to do. Another is mission; I've felt a strong calling to it since long ago but never acted upon it because of trivial reasons such as how can I take off time at work at this important time or can I really spend a week or more in unknown land without those who need me? Reading this chapter and being reminded of the importance of following Jesus at the time he chooses has instilled in me a greater need to follow Jesus exactly when he provides the opportunity, and hopefully I will be able to go on one in the new future!

Chapter 7 "Brother Love" has this passage: "We have trouble giving ourselves to anyone else, don't we? A great fence keeps us in. That fence is selfishness" (Ortiz 52). I first was offended by this statement ????. Why would selfishness be the barrier to opening up ourselves to others? What does being selfish have to do with not wanting to share things about myself or my life? But the more I meditated on this statement, the more it seemed true. The imagery that the author builds of ourselves being a house and sharing only what we want to share is merely changing the interior design of the house. Selectively choosing who to share with is also just setting aside prepared space within this house. But Jesus didn’t tell us to do things just within our comfort zone. Brotherly (and sisterly) love doesn’t extend to those who we want to love; it is to whoever is within our neighborhood or our area of influence. You don’t just love your neighbors on your right, you should also love those on your left. The house that I was before I met Jesus should be demolished and replaced with the one God has built for me, which can fit so much more. It should also not have any fences or security systems designed to keep intruders out; instead, it should be open to all with plenty of room to spare.

I have so much trouble with chapter 8 as I (1) don’t feel comfortable sharing about myself and (2) my heart doesn’t have too much real estate! It can only fit so many!! I’ve gotten better at both of them over the past couple years and especially the past 4 months of being a 목자, but I am still having difficulty with the reverse, of someone sharing a lot about themselves and giving me the informational burden (not sure if this is the right term!). Hopefully the Holy Spirit can help me with this! There is so much I would like to talk about chapter 8 but I will withhold from typing too much into this online dashboard. Please ask me in person if you are interested in hearing more!

Part 2 of this book is about how to grow as a Christian from a newborn baby (being saved) to a fully functional disciple. Like the first part, two things stood out to me: chapter 12 and chapter 15. 

Chapter 12 “Growing Up” fully embodies our first disciple memorization verse: Ephesians 4:13 “13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” It is not enough to grow bigger as a church in numbers, for what good is it if our congregation grows but we are all babies, infants without wisdom and maturity to do what Jesus tells us to? People emphasize how we must preach the gospel of the kingdom to save the lost sheep, but not enough emphasis is there for the steps thereafter. While each person’s spiritual journey is his/her own, as a church and fellow brothers and sisters of Christ we can help each other mature in faith, to take the steps needed to grow in faith. These are what 제자학교 and 목장 are for, to assist each other in bearing fruits and become teachers and eventually apostles like Paul. A lot of us (like me) view this process apprehensively; lot of us dodge the question “are you planning on doing 기노스코 / 디사이플 / 둘로스 / 포이멘?” with jokingly nervous laughter and eagerness to skip the conversation, but we shouldn’t be like that. By contrast, we should consider any steps to follow Jesus closer and embrace the uncertainty that may come with. 

In essence, what chapter 12 told me is to take the pacifier out of my mouth and start working in the fields like the worker I am called to be. To be in infancy for all our lives is a waste of the gift Jesus has brought me, and I will strive to do all I can to be equipped with the Word and equip others likewise.

Lastly, chapter 15 “The Holy Protestant Traditions” states, “Structure serves us very well as long as everything stays the same. But when we grow, the structures don’t fit us anymore.” (Ortiz 119). When the members of the church grow, the church itself should change. This is not in the sense of digressing from the Word and becoming heretic but more of structuring. Perhaps if there are many willing to serve, there would be a new ministry. If the influx of newcomers is abnormally high, maybe the newcomer ministry is made bigger. Currently, in my home church in SoCal, we are merging Korean second worship (for adults) and English third worship (for young adults) services into one. There is a lot of doubt and apprehension towards this, since this is the first time in church history we are doing this. Some pushback exists, but this chapter has shown me that traditions are mere traditions; they aren’t the infallible Word of God. If the church has decided to change for the better (this is important since some might not), we should be welcoming and ready for change as Juan writes. This is very related to previous points of opening our hearts and recognizing that we need to grow up and change. 

I hope that by reading this book, I have further gained a glimpse of the cost of following Jesus and the necessary steps needed to be taken to further hone my heart in preparation. Thank you for the read!