그런 생각은 전혀 안나요!
페이지 정보

조회 2,818회 작성일 18-01-20 15:24
본문
그런 생각은 전혀 안나요!
이 말은 27살의 홀리가 골육종으로 세상을 떠나며 남긴 마지막 말 중에한 말입니다. 호주의 뉴사우스웨일즈에서 살아온 홀리는 지난 4일 가족이 지켜보는 가운데 평안히 죽음을 맞이했습니다.
그녀는 갔지만 홀리가 골육종으로 고통속에서 투병하며 페이스북에 올린 글이 많은 사람들의 마음을 지금도
만지고 있습니다. 그가 쓴 글을 간단히 옮기면 이렇습니다..
“오늘 당신이 최악의 교통체증에 시달렸다든지, 당신의 아름다운 아기가 당신의 잠을 설치게 했다든지, 미용사가 당신의 머리를 너무 짧게 자를수 있어요. 당신의 가짜 손톱에 금이 갈 수있고 당신의 가슴이 너무 작을 수있고, 당신의 몸에 지방이 붙어서 뱃살이 출렁거릴 수있어요. 그런 쓸데 없는 것들을 다 내러벼둬요. 당신이 이 세상을 떠날 때 그런 것들이 전혀 생각나지 않아요. 삶 전체를 볼 때 그다지 중요하지 않아요. 단지 내가 바라는 건 내가 한 번만 더 나의 가족과 함께 생일이나 크리스마스를 보낼 수있게 되는 겁니다. 제발 딱 한번만 더…….나는 이곳 지구에서 가족들과 시간을 보낸 사실에 대해 영원히 감사 할 것입니다.”
죽음을 앞에두고 자신의 인생을 바라보며 자신이 중요하다고 생각하며 살아왔던 것들이 그다지 중요하지 않았음 을 깨닳은 홀리의 고백입니다.
“나도 아름다운 가족들과 많은 자식과 늙고 주름지고 백발이 될 때까지 살 것으로 상상했어요.”
이 고백은 홀리 한 사람만의 생각이 아닌, 우리 모두의 생각일 것입니다. 그렇게 생각하고 살아가기에 다른 이들에게 일어나는 일들이 나하고는 상관이 없는 일들이라고 생각하기에, 우리는 참으로 중요하지 않은 것들에 우리의 중요한 시간과 마음을 빼앗기고 살 때가 많습니다.
하나님께서 우리에게 은혜로 다시 주신 365일이라는 선물을 오늘 내가 어떻게 대하며 살아가고 있는지요? 쓸데 없는 것들에 나의 마음과 생각을 담아 화나고 짜증나고 미워하고 불만하며 혹 살아가고 계시지는 않은지요?
죽음 앞에서 전혀 생각나지 않을 것들에 내 마음과 시간을 담기보다는, 죽음 앞에서도 너무 중요한 것들에 나의 마음과 시간을 투자할 수있는 우리가 되었으면 합니다.
내 삶에서 전혀 생각나지 않을 것들을 뒤로하고, 영원히 나와 함께 할 것들에, 오늘의 마음과 시간을 담는 우리 모두가 되기를 기도하고 기도합니다.
“위의 것을 생각하고 땅의 것을 생각하지 말라!” 골3장2절…
- 이전글단기 선교..갈래? 18.01.21
- 다음글아메리카노... 18.01.07
댓글목록

관리자7(신현정)님의 댓글
관리자7(신현정) 작성일
https://www.facebook.com/hollybutcher90/posts/10213711745460694
A bit of life advice from Hol:
It’s a strange thing to realize and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts.
That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.
I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.
I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared - I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability.. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.
I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!
Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days.
Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that - breathe.
You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling.
Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.
I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise - Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things ... until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them.
I tried to live a healthy life, in fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it.
Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.
Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is shit but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away.
Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.
Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.
It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives.
Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them.
Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.
This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on.
Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.
Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.
Get amongst nature.
Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.
.....